Plastic Romance Melts Away

Now, this is the kind of news I could certainly do without.
But as I was unlucky enough to have a few seconds of my life wasted on reading this, I’m posting it to waste the same time from your lives too 😛

After 43 years as one of the world’s prettiest pairs, the perfect plastic couple is breaking up. The couple’s “business manager,” Russell Arons, vice president of marketing at Mattel, said that Barbie and Ken “feel it’s time to spend some quality time — apart.”

“Like other celebrity couples, their Hollywood romance has come to an end,” said Arons, who quickly added that the duo “will remain friends.”

… Arons hinted Wednesday that the separation may be partially due to Ken’s reluctance to getting married. All those bridal Barbie dolls in toy chests around the globe are really just examples of Barbie’s wishful thinking, she explained.

[via CNN]

Here’s the true version of the story. The real reason behind this breakup is because Ken is supernaturally gay, and Barbie being the warm and loving bitch that she is didn’t want to leave him earlier and risk exposing him even if it meant she’d stay 43 years without real sex.
But when Ken went too far and told her he was going to go public and start acting in gay porn movies, she just had to dump him. Enough was enough.
(This inside information was provided by the Ugly Brunette Doll :P)

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