eBay Internal Memo

Just found this internal memo that has been circulated at eBay a couple of days ago from F’d Company, it’s so funny.

I took the liberty of adding some replies/comments that someone working at eBay could think of, in bold.

I would like to notify you regarding the new quality measures that will take place. As you are aware, eBay strives to be the best in our business, and to ensure that our members receive the best possible customer service when contacting us.
Starting in October, monitoring software will be installed on all company computers. This is not an effort to “spy” on your activities (of course not), but rather to allow our quality department to take screen shots of your computer (oh, i see ! but hey, what’s the difference ?), to allow them to better coach you regarding policy and procedures. (You mean, to better know how to screw me !)
Please keep in mind, all AOL Instant messager messages will be recorded, and all incoming and outgoing emails will also be affected. (Nope, that’s got nothing to do with spying at all)

With this said, here are some guidelines that I would like you to follow:
1. No pornography sites should be accessed unless it is part of your job
Part of their job ?? Are you telling me some people at eBay surf porn sites as part of their job ? Damn i wanna work at eBay, lol…
2. No personal emails should be sent or received using company equipment
But i’m friends with everyone here ๐Ÿ™
3. AOL Instant Messengers should be used for work related purposes only.
Well, nicefatteddy76 uses ebay every once in a while, so it’s kind of work related ๐Ÿ˜‰
4. While working during business hours, no access to unrelated Internet sites is allowed under any circumstances.
Does this include the porn sites mentioned above or not ?

Please remember that every action performed on your company computer will be recorded. Please act accordingly.
Hmmm, can i install Spybot or some other anti-spyware program ?

If you are caught viewing Internet sites that are not work related, you may suffer disciplinary action up to and including termination.
Even if it’s your personal blog Mr. Manager, i’m a big fan of it.

If you have questions regarding this new policy, please contact your supervisor, or lead.
He’s too busy deleting his xxx hidden folders ๐Ÿ˜›

[name removed]
eBay Manager

The Ten Most Violated Homepage Design Guidelines

This is a very interesting article i found on Jakob Nielsen’s (The God of web usability) website useit.com.

It’s about the 10 most violated homepage design guidelines, which are the following ordered by compliance rate (number one is the guideline that the fewest sites follow):

1. Emphasize what your site offers that’s of value to users and how your services differ from those of key competitors
2. Use a liquid layout that lets users adjust the homepage size
3. Use color to distinguish visited and unvisited links
4. Use graphics to show real content, not just to decorate your homepage
5. Include a tag line that explicitly summarizes what the site or company does
6. Make it easy to access anything recently featured on your homepage
7. Include a short site description in the window title
8. Don’t use a heading to label the search area; instead use a “Search” button to the right of the box
9. With stock quotes, give the percentage of change, not just the points gained or lost
10. Don’t include an active link to the homepage on the homepage

It’s totally true, a big number of the websites i’ve seen on the web violate these rules.
And the only rule i can understand people breaking is the homepage size one, because it’s easier for designers to work on a known and fixed space, as it becomes more like print for them, and they can produce better eye candy.

To read the full thing and the details of each and every guideline click here.

I’m INTJ, what about you ?

I just came across this Jung-Myers-Briggs test, and after taking it, i was classified as INTJ (Introverted iNtuitive Thinking Judging).

Here is a description of the INTJ profile:

To outsiders, INTJs may appear to project an aura of “definiteness”, of self-confidence. This self-confidence, sometimes mistaken for simple arrogance by the less decisive, is actually of a very specific rather than a general nature; its source lies in the specialized knowledge systems that most INTJs start building at an early age. When it comes to their own areas of expertise — and INTJs can have several — they will be able to tell you almost immediately whether or not they can help you, and if so, how. INTJs know what they know, and perhaps still more importantly, they know what they don’t know.

INTJs are perfectionists, with a seemingly endless capacity for improving upon anything that takes their interest. What prevents them from becoming chronically bogged down in this pursuit of perfection is the pragmatism so characteristic of the type: INTJs apply (often ruthlessly) the criterion “Does it work?” to everything from their own research efforts to the prevailing social norms. This in turn produces an unusual independence of mind, freeing the INTJ from the constraints of authority, convention, or sentiment for its own sake.

INTJs are known as the “Systems Builders” of the types, perhaps in part because they possess the unusual trait combination of imagination and reliability. Whatever system an INTJ happens to be working on is for them the equivalent of a moral cause to an INFJ; both perfectionism and disregard for authority may come into play, as INTJs can be unsparing of both themselves and the others on the project. Anyone considered to be “slacking,” including superiors, will lose their respect — and will generally be made aware of this; INTJs have also been known to take it upon themselves to implement critical decisions without consulting their supervisors or co-workers. On the other hand, they do tend to be scrupulous and even-handed about recognizing the individual contributions that have gone into a project, and have a gift for seizing opportunities which others might not even notice.

In the broadest terms, what INTJs “do” tends to be what they “know”. Typical INTJ career choices are in the sciences and engineering, but they can be found wherever a combination of intellect and incisiveness are required (e.g., law, some areas of academia). INTJs can rise to management positions when they are willing to invest time in marketing their abilities as well as enhancing them, and (whether for the sake of ambition or the desire for privacy) many also find it useful to learn to simulate some degree of surface conformism in order to mask their inherent unconventionality.

Personal relationships, particularly romantic ones, can be the INTJ’s Achilles heel. While they are capable of caring deeply for others (usually a select few), and are willing to spend a great deal of time and effort on a relationship, the knowledge and self-confidence that make them so successful in other areas can suddenly abandon or mislead them in interpersonal situations.

This happens in part because many INTJs do not readily grasp the social rituals; for instance, they tend to have little patience and less understanding of such things as small talk and flirtation (which most types consider half the fun of a relationship). To complicate matters, INTJs are usually extremely private people, and can often be naturally impassive as well, which makes them easy to misread and misunderstand. Perhaps the most fundamental problem, however, is that INTJs really want people to make sense. ๐Ÿ™‚ This sometimes results in a peculiar naivete’, paralleling that of many Fs — only instead of expecting inexhaustible affection and empathy from a romantic relationship, the INTJ will expect inexhaustible reasonability and directness.

Probably the strongest INTJ assets in the interpersonal area are their intuitive abilities and their willingness to “work at” a relationship. Although as Ts they do not always have the kind of natural empathy that many Fs do, the Intuitive function can often act as a good substitute by synthesizing the probable meanings behind such things as tone of voice, turn of phrase, and facial expression. This ability can then be honed and directed by consistent, repeated efforts to understand and support those they care about, and those relationships which ultimately do become established with an INTJ tend to be characterized by their robustness, stability, and good communications.

I can only agree with most of this, especially the good stuff ๐Ÿ˜‰
And i think the profile really touches a number of important points of my personality.
Anyway, if anyone who personally knows me reads this, please comment and tell me what you think, and what you think applies to me and what doesn’t.

To take the test yourself click here.

[via Hou-Hou Blog]

Continue reading I’m INTJ, what about you ?

Happiness & Misery

I’ve come to believe that Happiness and Misery in life are a product of the human brain and it’s conception of reality.

It’s all in the way you look at the things around you and how you think of them.
This is not the half-empty or half-full glass idea i’m talking about, that’s more about optimism than happiness, it’s about how you interpret your life and your position in it.

People tend to get carried away by their needs and by their goals, forgetting about the things they’ve already reached and realized, not taking the time to enjoy them or be happy about their successes.
The everlasting need and thirst for more downsizes our successes and makes us feel like we’re still far away from where we want to be.

But if we just took the time and stopped every once in a while, looked around us and savoured the taste of the successes we reached, the little things in life that we have, the beauty of the smallest and simplest things surrounding us, and even the tiny steps that we’ve taken we’d truly feel a lot better about ourselves and our lives. And then we’d look at our other goals as ones that are reachable and doable, and as a life that extends ahead of us full of promise.

It’s great to have a great ambition and to always look into the future, but we shouldn’t get too obsessed with the future and too engulfed in our goals that we forget to live our present and enjoy it.
Keep your eyes on the future, but keep your feet on the ground and enjoy the present for what it’s worth.

To-Do list for when i go to Jordan

Well, i haven’t had the chance to visit Jordan ever since i left last year, even though my wife did, i was just too busy with work at the time.

Anyway, i’ve compiled a list of stuff that i need to do when i hopefully visit Jordan next year.

The list goes as follows:

– Eat at McDonald’s, Burger King, Pizza Hut, KFC, Popeyes, Milano and every other restaurant we don’t have in Tunisia, i just miss that stuff so much. By the time i’m done i’m gonna be twice my weight now ๐Ÿ˜›
– Re-discover Amman, find out everything that’s happened ever since i left last year and go everywhere new that has opened.
– Join up with friends there and spend some good times, just like the good old days.
– Buy a stock of CashU cards, that i can use to buy stuff on the internet ๐Ÿ˜›
– Buy some new CDs and DVDs. They’re cheaper and there is more stuff that matches my style.
– Buy some computer books. They’re cheaper and in English (Thank God).
– Buy a new mobile phone. This time i’m dropping Siemens for a change, i want either a Nokia or a Samsung.
– Visit my old university. I wanna see how it’s surviving without me in it.
– Shop for gadgets and cool stuff. I especially want a new higher resolution digital cam and a video game console (still have to decide between Xbox & PS2).
– Visit the Dead Sea, Wadi Rum and maybe even Petra.
– If possible, make a quick trip to Lebanon for a couple of days.

The list goes on and on of course, and i’m sure once i’m there i’ll be lucky if i even do 2 of the things listed above, but it’s a challenge for me to try and do them all, and i’ll be doing my best ๐Ÿ˜‰
God help me ๐Ÿ™‚

Dead Sea Dry

I’ve been hearing about how the Dead Sea has been drying up for some time now, but only today did i get a true idea about how fast it’s drying up and how bad the situation is becoming.

If nothing is done, the Dead Sea could be literally dead and gone in 50 to 100 years time.

The problem is the result of the diversion of the waters of the Jordan River mainly by Israel for agriculture and in cities and towns.

What sucks the most though is that i lived in Jordan for 6 years and i’ve never visited the Dead Sea, i just passed by it a number of times on my way to Aqaba for a swim in the Red Sea. I guess i just took it for granted and thought it’d always be there and that it was relatively close and i could go anytime i wanted.
Well, now i’ve left Jordan and the Dead Sea is drying up, and i haven’t been there yet.

So, another thing on my list of important tasks when i go to Jordan (next year hopefully) is a visit to the Dead Sea.

Hmmmm, i think i’ll be posting a list of the stuff i want to do in Jordan in a seperate post.

Miss Digital World

Digital artists, advertising agencies and video game programmers from around the world have been asked to send a computer design of their perfect woman to missdigitalworld.com, complete with date of birth and body measurements.

“Miss Digital World” is the first beauty contest reserved for the likes of video game heroine Lara Croft, computer-cloned actresses from the “Matrix” films and new beauties tweaked to perfection with 3D graphics.

I think this is so cool. Lately 3D graphics have been getting better and better enabling artists to produce very human-like characters, and it’s about time they choose who looks best in these creations.
The most realistic characters i’ve seen are from the Final Fantasy movie, especially the guys, they look so real. I have a friend who spent half the movie looking for an actor he knows, before realizing they were all computer generated ๐Ÿ˜›

Can’t wait to see the digital hotties that will be sent to them…

Playstation Portable, WOW…

I just came across this article about Playstation Portable. It looks awesome, very futuristic and slick.

It’ll play mp3s, mpeg4s, PS games. It’ll have Wi-Fi and maybe even mobile phone technology. And it’ll come with a 1.8 GB Universal Media Disc.
Is that just beautiful or what ?

Nintendo and Nokia should watch their asses. This baby is gonna rock.

Another cool gadget on my long wishlist ๐Ÿ˜‰

(Via i never knew)

The Last Emperor

Now, this is one hell of a great movie.
I’ve seen the DVD sitting there in the video store for some time now, and i don’t know what made me choose to rent it this saturday only. I should’ve rented it a long time ago.

The movie is visually awesome; the wideshots, the places, the everything, it just takes you to that time and place and makes you live the story as it happened.
The story is touching and powerful and the acting is great.

I just read that it won 9 oscars (including the Best Picture Oscar), and i fully agree that it deserves every single one of them and more.

It’s a truly perfect movie that tells a great and moving story.

Plus, for a movie that was made back in 1987, the cinematography and photography are amazing and way ahead of their time. Even better than a lot of stuff we see these days.

I give it a hundred thumbs up. One of the best and most perfect movies i’ve seen in a while.

For more info click here.